Michael Wojciechowski

I just finished packing.  My brothers and I are heading to Maui today.  We're going to an Eddie Vedder concert Monday night.  I have a book for the plane--A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius--and I'm taking seasons 5 and 6 of the great television series, Curb Your Enthusiasm.  Curb is like a R-rated Seinfeld.  If you like original comedy, you should check it out.  I saw Transformers made 60 million on it's opening day.  That's a bigger tragedy than Michael Jackson's death.  I'd watch Captian EO ten times before I subjected myself to a Michael Bay movie.  But, hey, that's just me. 

I just returned from Alaska.  I met Kirsten up there and we did the Mayor's Marathon.  We saw a bear on the course.  He stood 50 yards away and watched all the runners go by.  On a later hike we encounter another bear.  Closer.  it was pretty scary.  Pictures are on the home page.  Scroll down to view them.  I need to congratulate Kirsten on completing her 11th marathon.  She has done 3 in three months.  I'm sure most of you heard of the earthquake that struck Alaska a few days ago.  Ironically, at the time of the earthquake, we were watching a movie about the Alaska earthquake that occurred 1964.  We just thought the rumbling that was taking place in the present day was part of the movie's production highlighting the quake from 1964.  Even the place where we watched the movie had a working seismograph machine.  I noticed the disturbance in the graph and chalked it up to . . . nothing.  I never put two and two together. 

It's nice to be home.  I went to the gym, but I couldn't get on the machine I needed because of a group of guys surrounding it.  There was six or seven of them.  All in tank tops.  All had tribal band tattoos circling their arms.  They were checking out six or seven girls who were surrounding a different machine.  All in sports bras.  All had Chinese symbols tattooed on their lower backs.  Both sets--males and females--smelled of tanning lotion.  I had to wonder if one of those guys belonged to the Chinese tribe of generic tattoos, well, how beautiful would that have been?      

Obama is trying to reform our health care system.  Critics of Obama claim that he is a socialist and Americans hate socialists because . . . well, because they’ve been told to.  And like with any pertinent topic that requires some level of higher thinking, Americans shut down, subscribing to antiquated ideals instilled by hate mongers because finding logical answers takes precious time away from shopping, eating, and watching television (did you hear Adam Lambert is gay?  Honestly, was anyone surprised by this?).  Now people on the Right are fearful that if we subscribe to socialized healthcare, we may eventually adopt communistic ideals.  The Right wants to preserve capitalism.  They’ll even go so far to claim our President is a terrorist because he’s a threat to capitalism (if you look at the definition of a terrorist, you’d be hard pressed to find a President who isn’t one.  Think about it).  Now understand, I’m not trying to advocate socialism, but I’m also not advocating capitalism because, surely, the last 18 months has shown how flawed capitalism is (how’s your GM stock?).  I do, however, think there is something fundamentally wrong when a twenty-something year old college student can’t go to the doctor because he/she doesn’t have health insurance.  Or when a single parent working two jobs finds her/himself in the same situation.  If a person is contributing to society in a positive manner, then shouldn’t he/she have the right to see a doctor at an affordable rate?  The Right says no.     

Now what the Right fails to realize—or more likely what they fail to relay to us commoners—is that our society is founded on socialized institutions: public schools.  Every child in America is granted an education through the 12th grade at an affordable rate.  Does a teacher charge a child more to come to class if that child is suffering from some condition that impedes their ability to learn (i.e. ADD, ADHD, social anxiety disorder, OCD, etc.)?  Of course not.  But can a health care provider deny a tax-paying American coverage if he/she suffers from diabetes, a heart condition, or even a yeast infection?  Of course they can.  Why?  Because in a capitalistic society we are all just a commodity.  Bottom dollar.  You’re going to pay outrageous premiums for healthcare because you need to in order to live.  Therefore doctors and healthcare providers make a lot of money.  But a parent—or even a student—is not going to pay a lot of money for a child to get a public education because, well, honestly they don’t give a shit.  Do kids in America really care about school?  The sad truth is, no, they don’t.  Politicians understand this, and that is why doctors make six figures and teachers start off at just a hair under 30k a year. 

But don’t fret.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel.  It’s coming in the direction of North Korea.  Is there anything scarier than meeting a rival on the playground who has found a bigger stick in which to rule the merry-go-round? 

Eighteen-year-old Jessica Terry went from doctor to doctor complaining of vomiting, diarrhea, weight loss and stomach pains. They said she had irritable bowel syndrome. They said she had colitis. They said the slides of her intestinal tissue were fine, but she knew her doctors were wrong.  So she decided to take the slides of her intestinal tissue into her AP high school science class and correctly diagnosed herself with Crohn's disease.  She was right.  Her doctors were wrong.  Now my question is, does she now get reimbursed for all the medical bills she paid to have doctors tell her what she didn't have?  Should they [the doctors] pay her for doing their job?  How about the insurance company foots the bill.  If I hail a cab, and then the driver gets in the back seat and I drive to my destination, am I still required to pay the fare? 

While I was in Seattle, I went to the science center in downtown and, along with 300 curious kids, watched the film "Under the Sea" on the imax screen.  It was amazing.  It was in 3-D, and I caught myself jumping when the fish would strike at its prey and laughing at having been frightened.  The children in attendance shared my reactions, and the theater was filled often with innocent gasps, and shortly thereafter, laughter.  It was a beautiful experience, until of course, one learns that the sea life starring in the film is becoming endangered due to harmful greenhouse gases that are constantly being emitted into our atmosphere.  Of course "experts" continue to say global warming cannot be proven, and well, maybe it can't.  I don't know.  I'm not educated enough to know.  I do know, however, that I feel superior when I drive a Hummer, so surely a few sea lions and polar bears can be sacraficed to afford me that luxury.  Can't they?  All this reminded me of a great poem written by the master of satire, Kurt Vonnegut.  I have written it here for your benefit.      

"Requiem"

When the last living thing
has died on account of us,
how poetical it would be
if Earth could say,
in a voice floating up
perhaps from the floor
of the Grand Canyon,
"It is done. 
People did not like it here."

I just returned from Seattle.  I spent the last few days eating fresh seafood, reading by the ocean, and giving money to panhandlers.  Why is it that panhandlers have to make up some story as to why they need money?  One guy I encountered said he didn't have enough money to pay for his insulin.  Another woman needed new shoes because hers were worn through.  I gave them each a buck and told them they didn't have to explain anything to me.  I guess we all try to explain and justify why we need help sometimes.  Is there shame in asking for help?  It appears there is more shame in asking for help than there is in not giving it.  I'm not beyond reproach.  I guess that's why it bothers me so much.  No one likes when their mirror is reflecting something hideous.      

Time for a new top 11 list.  This time it's best actors of all time.  I've even gone to the liberty and listing two films next to each actors' name you should check out.  I've tried to list films that you've probably overlooked. 
1. Marlon Brando -- "A Streetcar Named Desire" "Sayonara"
2. Daniel Day-Lewis -- "In the Name of the Father"  "There Will be Blood"
3. Tom Hanks -- "Road to Perdition"  "The Terminal"
4. Paul Newman -- "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof"  "Nobody's Fool"
5. Jack Nicholson -- "Five Easy Pieces"  "About Schmidt"
6. Sean Penn -- "The Assassination of Richard Nixon"  "21 Grams"
7. Robert De Niro -- "Heat"  "Marvin's Room"
8. Dustin Hoffman -- "Lenny"  "Moonlight Mile"
9. Al Pacino --  "Glengary Glen Ross"  "The Insider"
10. Denzel Washington -- "Courage Under Fire"  "Man on Fire"
11. (tie) Russell Crowe -- "L.A. Confidential"  "Cinderella Man"
11. (tie) Johnny Depp -- "Ed Wood"  "Donnie Brasco"
So there you have it.  You can disagree, but remember, I'm right.  At least so far I have been.   

Go see the new Pixar movie, Up.  Best movie of the year so far.  Only two films have ever made me cry, and Up came very close to being the third.  Great Movie.  Also, this weekend the new Sam Mendes film, Away We Go, is opening.  If you're not familiar with Sam Mendes, he directed American Beauty (for which he won the best director Oscar), Road To Perdition, Jar Head, and Revolutionary Road. All great films.  Go see Away We Go.  I'm sure you'll gain more from it than Terminator or Wolverine.  Oh, yeah, and it has a great soundtrack.